I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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