dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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