i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
