Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
