I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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