I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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