I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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