I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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