ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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