I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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