please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
