He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
