who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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