You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
