wat bout pragnant strippers??
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
