They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
