Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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