I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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