If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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