was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules