Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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(240): View more from Maryland

I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(901): View more from Tennessee

I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"

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(301): View more from Maryland

i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Or a taco

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(801): View more from Utah

i regret nothing

(801): View more from Utah

brb throwing up in the dishwasher

(801): View more from Utah

i regret everything

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