why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
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I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything