There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking