did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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