Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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