***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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