She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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