Grow some girl-balls and come out already
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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