I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
