Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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