Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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