i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
