Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
