you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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