..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
