just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
