Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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