Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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