those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
