Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

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  (510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring... http://tfl.nu/set0
  Replies (80) Good night (2979) Bad night (8406)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian

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  (613): My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian http://tfl.nu/6wog
  Replies (63) Good night (8660) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.

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  (818): I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got. http://tfl.nu/vmp4
  Replies (27) Good night (1814) Bad night (5817)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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  (715): Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel. http://tfl.nu/yi2m
  Replies (15) Good night (3375) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too

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  (402): He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too http://tfl.nu/2c7f
  Replies (9) Good night (4495) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"

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  (701): Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..? (1-701): No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup" http://tfl.nu/9q23
  Replies (1) Good night (1800) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.

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  (320): He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick... (320): He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis. http://tfl.nu/fuv3
  Replies (26) Good night (2312) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.

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  (707): He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed. http://tfl.nu/sv05
  Replies (5) Good night (801) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.

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  (702): If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak. http://tfl.nu/8cng
  Replies (7) Good night (1548) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.

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  (252): He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high. http://tfl.nu/0y39
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...

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  (519): sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain... http://tfl.nu/qwc4
  Replies (0) Good night (758) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"

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  (214): His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP" http://tfl.nu/swif
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.

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  (916): I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings. http://tfl.nu/ki9y
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight

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  (904): I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight http://tfl.nu/dl4c
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE

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  (724): YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE http://tfl.nu/f19v
  Replies (7) Good night (233) Bad night (699)

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