she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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