Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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