sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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