sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
