yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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