false alarm. still invincible.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
