I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
do nipples grow back?
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