Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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