hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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