On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
