Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
