you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
