I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
sex in a hospital.. check
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
