I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She announced her abortion via fbk
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
