great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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