I can tuck mytits in my pants
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
