Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
