What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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