i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
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Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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