I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
50% drunk capacity currently
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
