32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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