Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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