A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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