Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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