My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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