Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
